Monday, 27 January 2014

In an introspecting mood

I seem to have lost my confidence.I don't know but i am feeling cold and sad. I promised myself that i wont be writing negative stuff here but couldn't stop myself. If doing that makes me feel good then i don't find a problem with it. Today i have nothing specific to write on so i am gonna just write about the spate  of random thoughts that are crowding my mind.

I want to make some changes in my life. There are certain issues that i have to deal with. I need to make a proper bucket list. LOL
My career is the biggest concern these days. I get bored of my job very easily. I was a bright student. secured good marks but i was never satisfied with it. I have a fear...fear of rejection. I cant handle failure in life. Perhaps, This fear/phobia of mine has made me work harder than was necessary. The good point was it helped me in securing one of the top positions in the class all along. Its not that i am a nerd or something but i can not see myself standing at the corner and sobbing for not getting a position.
 when it comes to job it really counts that you enjoy your work and are passionate in what you do. unfortunately i am not at all passionate about economics and research. don't know what i want from my life....

 photography!!!! I love it when someone takes my photos. I love  to click pics and upload them on facebook.. hehe i know its a jobless thing  to do...Getting likes and comments from friends is a great feeling ... i love updating my facebook  profile with photos and status updates..Its like being in the limelight all the time...
 i am quite  conscious about my looks..i always want to look good. and i am working out. Internet has helped me a lot.. there are various sites and blogs which i keep reading to stay fit.. I have started taking healthy diet.I choose to be aware of what i eat and how it makes me feel. The best feeling is when you get fit in all the dresses and you look graceful... I just want to maintain that feeling.

Planning to start taking guitar lessons again..I just want to finish what i started. I get distracted very easily. There are lot of activities i can, writing, music, french, poetry, craft work but the saddest part is that i get bored of them very easily...I lack a strong will power.. I think if you have a strong will power then you can achieve anything in life....

I cant handle jealousy...There are certain people in my life who pretend to be my well wisher but their jealousy is clearly visible ..Why do people have to get jealous of others...why cant they mind their own life...I am actually very very scared of such people...

Fear of loosing something something/ someone close to you is the worst feeling one can ever have.. life is very unpredictable and i am scared of life...every day i pray for my close ones.. I just want them to lead a happy,healthy, successful and long life.

I have a very bad habit of not been able to confine any news to myself.. I immediately want to share it with others...people can easily extract my secrets from me.. its not a good thing at all...I spill the beans without bothering for consequences..This has led me into trouble many times..I am trying to control myself..

Not that i don't have any positive traits but more about them in another blog post!



  1. May be should you join modelling

  2. That was quiet a post, honestly done:) Am sure your perspective will change with time!

    1. Thanks for encouraging me :)
      Would love to read your comments :)
      keep in touch

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