Things have not changed. Each day i wake up with a hope that everything is going to be like before at the same time i am scared that what if life brings more problems in my life. My life now has become like that clock which's pendulum has stopped moving. It has stuck in one place. i can not see any changes(good changes) in my life. I guess i am trapped in my life. Once i was a positive person. i could see things from right perspective but now all i can see is negativity.. everything is just contradictory. I know I am just going through the rough phase of my life and I know that one day i would wake in the morning and realize that all the negative vibes have moved out from my life and I would feel the happiness. Everything would be perfectly alright. I am saying this because this has happened with me earlier. I was a damsel in distress and next day God fulfilled my wish. It is just a matter of time.
Today morning was nothing exceptional. I woke up with a hope that things would be fine, unfortunately things turned out to be worse. I was shattered, could not think what to do next.The whole day i was crying. I hided my tears as I didn't want anyone to see me crying. i felt dejected. I could not find the purpose of life. All my dreams were shattered into pieces and those pieces hurt my soul and made it a WOUNDED SOUL. I just wanted someone to console me and give me hope that things will be fine but i didnt have the courage to show my tears to the world. I asked God ,why you put people in this situation,they can not bear, why this life has more pains than happiness?? The most painful feeling is that when everything is going wrong in front of you and all you can do is just watch them and could not do anything. Thats the most helpless feeling in the world. I had two options, either to see the misery affecting me and scorching my soul or to walk away from it. I chose the second option as i could not handle the situation anymore. still somewhere i had a hope that i would get what i wanted but nothing happened. The anger, the sorrow, the pain inside me wanted me to give up. I know I am depressed and eventually I will get over it. i am in a great confusion. Am i making fool of myself by hoping things would be fine. Its just a faith that makes me keep going ..I am scared what if my faith breaks. will i ever get up again and face life.
I know God is with me and he has decided something good and he would take care of me in every walk of life. These situations have made me strong from a fragile and sensitive girl. I know life is not a bed of roses and no one is leading a perfect life. It is the hope and focus which keep people moving. In these days I lost interest in everything. I love writing but i could not write anymore. Whenever i tried to write, all the pains and sorrows which time
Hopefully in my next article i would write something positive and good about myself.